A letter to my boys

About this time last year I was wondering what life with three boys would be like. It is louder and more chaotic than I guessed, but it is also more of an adventure than I guessed it would be. When we go anywhere with all three I get more comments than you might imagine.. a lot of "You have your hands full" and "you must be exhausted." I didn't know having a family of five would make us a poor man's Duggars. Also sometimes infuriatingly (and in front of the kids) people ask are you going to try again for a girl? As if having boys is like second prize. Honestly, Hunter and I were both a little relieved to have another boy- having a girl would have felt like we were truly "starting over." Although dressing a little girl up and taking her to dance recitals would be fun, is there anything more fraught with angst and drama than a mother daughter relationship? Not in my experience..so I am perfectly happy to be outmanned.

There a some things I want to be sure all of the boys know- so here goes:

1) First, big boys and real men do cry. Also, I want to be sure all of you know how to express all of your feelings for better or worse. But on the days you can't and you just need to hit something or hide away in your room I will try to respect that just as much. When you have a hard time dealing with something in your life, there are always people who can help you make better decisions. I should know-its what I do for a living, don't be afraid to ask for help.

2) Your energy seems boundless, I know its hard to sit still in church and in school and anywhere for 5 minutes, I am working on being patient with you.

3) Someday in the not too distant future (God help me) some little Jezebel in strawberry lipsmackers and an I-Carly tshirt is going to steal your heart away from me. I will no longer be Miss America and Madame Curie all rolled into one..when that happens I will do my best not to judge her too harshly. When she breaks your heart, I promise to be there for you and remember that your first love is often the most exquisite and soul crushing one you'll ever have.

4) The likelihood of your getting a shiny new car/truck for your sixteenth birthday is pretty much zero. I have seen how you ride your bike and scooter and Cozy Coupe and a fast new car could be lethal. I am thinking a grocery getter that will only go 40 miles an hour seems prudent.

5) It is okay to be smart, it doesn't mean you can't like sports too- you can and you will but don't try to act dumb. Girls think smart guys are cool.

6) I want you to know how much I love and respect your father. I love all three of you so much it takes my breath away- but your Daddy was and is my first true love and if it weren't for him there'd be no you and no family...One day when and if you decide to have a family of your own you'll understand.

7) I want you to confide in me, but I'm not your best friend. I will always love you but I am not always going to agree with you- because I'm your parent.

8) Be nice to your brothers, when you are grown ups stay in touch. Let go of any petty disagreements you have left over from being kids and remember they know you better than anyone else on the planet. I love to see you playing together even now, it makes me so happy to know you'll always have each other to lean on. Your Dad and I fought long and hard to make sure we had more than one child for that very reason, so stick together.

9) I want you to have a strong faith- it will sustain you when nothing else does. Always be willing to have faith and ask questions so your faith will grow with you.

10) Before you leave my house to be on your own you I will make sure you know how to do your own laundry, make a decent pasta meal and sew on a button. Its just common sense.