Happy Happy Joy Joy

I was thinking earlier today about the difference between happiness and joy.  Happy is a temporary state, life happens and happiness is often a short term casualty of it.   Joy is not dependent on circumstances. When I think of joy, I think of my sweet baby Andrew.

You know how people call babies "bundles of joy"?  I used to think that referred to how their parents felt, but Andrew is literally his own little bundle of joy.  He laughs and smiles and giggles constantly, even in his sleep sometimes.  I once heard someone say that a surprise is something you didn't know wanted until you had it- and that is Andrew.  I could never have imagined how much joy he would bring to our family.  He is growing so quickly (3 teeth and trying to crawl already?!) and every day every moment we are richer for it.  That is joy, I may not always be happy when I am changing my umpteenth diaper of the dayor up in the middle of the night but there is always joy.

A letter to my boys

About this time last year I was wondering what life with three boys would be like. It is louder and more chaotic than I guessed, but it is also more of an adventure than I guessed it would be. When we go anywhere with all three I get more comments than you might imagine.. a lot of "You have your hands full" and "you must be exhausted." I didn't know having a family of five would make us a poor man's Duggars. Also sometimes infuriatingly (and in front of the kids) people ask are you going to try again for a girl? As if having boys is like second prize. Honestly, Hunter and I were both a little relieved to have another boy- having a girl would have felt like we were truly "starting over." Although dressing a little girl up and taking her to dance recitals would be fun, is there anything more fraught with angst and drama than a mother daughter relationship? Not in my experience..so I am perfectly happy to be outmanned.

There a some things I want to be sure all of the boys know- so here goes:

1) First, big boys and real men do cry. Also, I want to be sure all of you know how to express all of your feelings for better or worse. But on the days you can't and you just need to hit something or hide away in your room I will try to respect that just as much. When you have a hard time dealing with something in your life, there are always people who can help you make better decisions. I should know-its what I do for a living, don't be afraid to ask for help.

2) Your energy seems boundless, I know its hard to sit still in church and in school and anywhere for 5 minutes, I am working on being patient with you.

3) Someday in the not too distant future (God help me) some little Jezebel in strawberry lipsmackers and an I-Carly tshirt is going to steal your heart away from me. I will no longer be Miss America and Madame Curie all rolled into one..when that happens I will do my best not to judge her too harshly. When she breaks your heart, I promise to be there for you and remember that your first love is often the most exquisite and soul crushing one you'll ever have.

4) The likelihood of your getting a shiny new car/truck for your sixteenth birthday is pretty much zero. I have seen how you ride your bike and scooter and Cozy Coupe and a fast new car could be lethal. I am thinking a grocery getter that will only go 40 miles an hour seems prudent.

5) It is okay to be smart, it doesn't mean you can't like sports too- you can and you will but don't try to act dumb. Girls think smart guys are cool.

6) I want you to know how much I love and respect your father. I love all three of you so much it takes my breath away- but your Daddy was and is my first true love and if it weren't for him there'd be no you and no family...One day when and if you decide to have a family of your own you'll understand.

7) I want you to confide in me, but I'm not your best friend. I will always love you but I am not always going to agree with you- because I'm your parent.

8) Be nice to your brothers, when you are grown ups stay in touch. Let go of any petty disagreements you have left over from being kids and remember they know you better than anyone else on the planet. I love to see you playing together even now, it makes me so happy to know you'll always have each other to lean on. Your Dad and I fought long and hard to make sure we had more than one child for that very reason, so stick together.

9) I want you to have a strong faith- it will sustain you when nothing else does. Always be willing to have faith and ask questions so your faith will grow with you.

10) Before you leave my house to be on your own you I will make sure you know how to do your own laundry, make a decent pasta meal and sew on a button. Its just common sense.

Going out with a Bang

New Year's Eve finds me home with Hunter and the boys. Babysitter woes forced a change in plans, but I'm actually glad for the chance to spend a quiet evening closing out 2010 and preparing for 2011. And that is one of my goals for 2011 to give thanks in all things. Its hard, b/c I really wanted to go out but this really is better for so many reasons. For one thing I think I'll turn into a pumpkin a 9p.m.

15 weeks and counting, at my last ultrasound the little bean was 6 cm long and had a heartbeat of 151. Also, all my pre-screening tests for Downs etc came back negative. So everyone's healthy. I'm so hormonal I cry at least once a day for absolutely nothing or absolutely everything. Hunter dried my sweater, cue the water works. Robert rides his bike, hand me a kleenex. I figure all these hormones are a sign I am having a girl..but who knows.

Getting rid of Ethan's pacifier, working on Robert's self control...so many lessons learned in a week and a half out of school. Mostly, that I am not cut out for homeschooling and eternally grateful for second grade teachers who manage Robert and 17 more just like him 5 days a week.
We have forgotten how to share, harassed and "loved" our brother half to death, practiced violin all of one time. Ethan and Robert both wake up asking for candy...literally they are not out of the bed yet and they ask me for it. Sugared up and t.v.ed out we are in desperate need of routines around here.

So tonight we'll break out the confetti, party hats and horns and then tomorrow we will clean up and start fresh. T.V. will be off, candy thrown out, many tears shed (by everyone) and ready or not 2011 here we come.

For the three people left on the planet that Robert hasn't told...the Humphreys are expecting baby #3 in late June. In honor of this exciting news here is my Advent Devotional for FUMC's publication :



Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart..”
Luke 2:19

This is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. I realize that may seem like an odd choice. It is probably not up there with John 3:16 or Phillipians 4:13 in the Christian Top Tens. I don’t recall ever memorizing it for a Bible drill. But, I love it. I love it because every mother in the world has done exactly this, thrilled at the first kick,counted fingers and toes, marveled at the miracle of new life. Luke, the physician, got this one just right. Even without heavenly hosts singing, exotic visitors from the Far East, and shephards showing up unexpectedly the birth of a baby brings much to treasure and ponder. I remember the first time I felt my unborn babies move, and the moment I heard their first cry.
I also love the expectation and promise this verse brings us. Advent is a time for treasuring and pondering the mystery of a coming Christ. God delivered joy, peace and light to all humanity through a teenage Mother in a stable. God is with us indeed. My goal for this Advent season is to treasure and ponder every moment I see Emmanuel in my family, in my church and in my community.

Dear God,
Thank you for the miracle of new life, and new life in Christ. Help us to treasure up and ponder all the moments that point us to the coming Christ in this season.

My Week in Photos

Halloween Howl 2010

A brief moment of glory

How the rest of the night went

Robert giving the Hooligan war cry which is an awful like his everyday war cry

Communion in Prattvillage Gardens for Hannah's Prayer Memorial Service

Hannah's Prayer

Hannah's Prayer is the support group I have been involved with for the past year or so. After Hunter and I lost our angels I longed for a place to be honest about my struggles and to join with other women who were facing the same thing. Finally, earlier this year I had a chance to begin and lead a group at my church. (Many, many thanks to Olivia, my friend and pastor who has helped in every way possible and co-leads the group.)

This week is the first Service of Hope and Remembrance. It will be held in the garden behind my office (see above) and I am so excited. Although I always held those little lives in my heart Hunter and I never had a way to mark their passing from this life....so now we do. The service is Oct. 24th at 3:30...say a little prayer, send up a good thought for me and all the other mommies who don't have all of our children with us here but who remember them always.

I'll be sure to post afterwards and let you know how it goes.

Running

Brace yourself friends and family, I started running. I never thought I would run for anything but my life. But its not so bad..I'm using the Couch2 5K program meaning I run for 90 sec then walk then run and so on. By the end of 9 weeks I should be able to run for 20 minutes. My goal is to run a 5K by my birthday (Dec. 4). We'll see how it goes. No runner's high for me yet.



Ethan is changing everyday, right now he is obsessed with "Mickey House" as he calls him. He repeats absolutely everything you say (watching our language a bit more these days). We haven't taken away the paci, but any day now I plan to do so. He loves it more than Robert did. Oh and he recognizes his letters, all of them...what 2 year old can do that?



Robert, that boy is gonna drive me to drink...This morning he started out the door to school with one of his sneakers falling off due to no laces. He had no idea where the laces were, how does that happen? He read a book with "500 facts" and "500 Questions and Answers" so we get a few of those each day. For example did you know that one U.S. president could write with both his right and left hand in two different languages simultaneously? Robert can't remember which president it was.



Both of my boys are so smart and kind and just make me smile every day. I feel beyond fortunate that I have spent so much time with them. My work makes me crazy sometimes and every now and then I consider going back to work for someone else...but being with them is so worth it. This week, I walked from my office to Robert's field trip and then back to work. Today Ethan and I walked all over downtown and then afterwards while he napped I saw a client. How much better could my work situation be?